Tuesday, October 16, 2012

How a Crunchy AP Home is Like a Bachelor Pad

My brother-in-law recently said that the way we parent (Attachment Parenting) is exhausting. I couldn't agree more. There's often a misconception that being at home with your kids gives you loads and loads of time to get everything done around the house. This is just not the case. Most days I don't even have time to take a shower let alone clean the place up...and my daughter isn't even walking/crawling yet! My house reminds me of the countless bachelor pads my friends and my husband lived in. I would probably have a meltdown and just light the place on fire if I didn't have a sense of humor about it. Therefore, I give you:

The Top 15 Ways a Crunchy AP Home Is Like a Bachelor Pad

1. The toilet seat is always up (for ease of knocking solids off diapers).

2. There's an abundance of naked breasts about (only they're yours and they're full of milk).

3. You use one utensil to stir, mix, scoop, cut, and eat your meals and snacks which are all eaten off the same plate (if a plate is used at all). Eating out of the pan/pot is totally justified.

4. The definition of clean enough to wear is the smell test, and if you can't smell it from five feet away, that's good enough.

5. You vacuum and mop only when absolutely necessary (ie: guests are coming over) and even then it's just spot cleaning.

6. Your bed sheets are never washed unless there's a pee/poop incident.

7. There's ladies underwear stashed here and there and everywhere (but, again, its yours and its granny panties).

8. There are only a few "beauty" items in the house (shampoo, body wash, toothpaste, hairbrush), all used only a couple times a week, mostly when you will be leaving the house or having company over.

9. You spend a lot of your time in your underwear and your roommates don't seem to care.

10. Laundry is never put away; it goes from you to floor to hamper to washer/dryer to a half-assed folding job to basket. Repeat.

11. Toys, toys, toys, toys everywhere!

12. When the doorbell rings or there's a knock on the door you just shout "Come In!" without checking to see who it is.

13. Conversation has turned into a series of grunts and groans.

14. You see absolutely no reason to apologize or explain why it seems like a tornado has gone through your house. "What? This is clean!"

15. There's someone always sleeping on the couch (only, again, its YOU after your spouse/partner has come home and is watching your kiddo(s)).

Add to my list in the comments with how your home is like a bachelor pad!

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